Monday, May 22, 2006
untitled
arrrgggghhhh!! i'm so bored! gus2 ko na pumasok ulit! (despite the fact na mangangayayat nnman ako for not sleeping because of due plates) better that i'm doing something than not doing anything at all.
reasons why I wanna go back to school:
1) if i spend my day at the mall, i'll be tempted to buy stuffs and empty out my savings.
2) i wanna see my friends again!
3) i've memorized the tv schedule
4) i completed the whole season of my favorite series
5) my iPod's too organized, thus nothing left to do
*sniff* i wanna go back to school... (1 more month to waste)
rock with me |
6:10 PM
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Saturday, May 20, 2006
happy ending
everyone deserves a happy ending. everyone... except me.
a cheery, happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow attitude. that's what I possess. everyone thinks everything's fine. that everything's OK.
they don't know what's happening behind closed doors.
I'm tired of drying my eyes before I go to sleep. I'm tired of waiting for whoever's inside the room to fall asleep for my tears to start. I'm tired of figuring out answers to questions while struggling to breathe and wiping stains off my pillow.
I try to hide whatever's left of me and somehow I succeeded in doing it.
subconsciously, I push people away. It's no mystery why I can't find someone to share my entire life with. I look for certain connections/spark in people. and when I can't find it I tend to push them away... subconsciously... It's not them, It's me, I know the problem is with me. I always think ahead, what lies in the future, instead of the "now". If I can't see 'him' in the future with me, then I'll know 'he's' in the past. and i'll search again.
you know that kind of contentment and relief you feel when you know inside you that you've found 'the 1'? and the feeling of regret of wasting time with someone who's completely the wrong kind.
Well, I've dozens of the latter part.
As I look at my friends who surround me, their eyes sparkling with someone special beside them. Two lines will always cross my mind, "In time, I'll find him and have my share of bliss." or "I'll be leading life like this for the rest of my life."
and maybe I'll be leading life alone.
rock with me |
3:52 PM
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Thursday, May 11, 2006
learning to breathe
hi people! i'm baaack!:)
i deleted my first blog as all of you know. or rather 'my links' know.
why? cuz at that point in my life i felt so damn open about my life, pretty detailed about what was happening, plus what i've written before (i think) is f*cking lame.
why i start blogging again? i feel it's sort of therapeutic thing for me. i need to put into words what i am or was feeling. (the hell it burns my mind thinking about stuffs that needs to be put on hold.) maybe this was a great way then as it is now.
i'll start tomorrow or the day after that. right now i'm going to design my blog world first. :)
rock with me |
3:10 PM
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